Motherhood is a beautiful and transformative experience, but it also brings a never-ending set of challenges that nothing will prepare you for. Every piece of yourself goes to your child who is entirely dependent on you. With so little time and energy, where could you possibly find a safe space to ask yourself if you're okay? Or if you're happy with your life? Why not? The answer is simple: therapy.
I'm not diagnosed with anything. Why should I seek therapy?
Motherhood is a lot, which is why we often stop taking care of ourselves. We carry the title "mother" and forget we are also a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter – a woman who deserves to be taken care of.
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Is therapy worth it for a busy mother like myself?
Short answer: YES. Because if you take better care of yourself, you can take even better care of those around you.
Long answer: Fellow mothers will understand the hesitation to invest in therapy. It requires time away from our busy lives. It requires resources – and we all have an idea that therapy can be quite pricey – resources that we might want to allocate to our children instead. And perhaps we're just not ready to be that vulnerable to a stranger. Maybe it's because we want to be supermoms and not need any help.
But what we get out of therapy is how to be a busy mother and still be ourselves. Stress and overwhelm won't go anywhere, but what we gain is more clarity of thinking and better stress management. By build on our self-awareness, and thus, on our relationships with ourselves and others. All of these help us become more present, productive, and a better person (and not just mother) overall.
"I remember walking into the office, diaper bag on my shoulder disheveled in my winter coat, full of shame at being there; for needing the help of a professional. And yet, I stayed. I knew I needed to be there."
The Every Mom | How therapy helped me become a better mom
What can I get out of therapy?
Let's start with what you won't get out of therapy. Therapy will not make you a perfect parent. Therapy will not make it easier to be a mother, to juggle all your responsibilities and aspects of your life.
What therapy will do is open up a path of understanding, self-awareness, and recovery. It will allow you to forgive yourself for anything you might be holding on to. And as you continue down this path, it won't make life easier, but it will make you stronger, more compassionate, and better-equipped for what life has in store for you. It’s about allowing you to embrace everything you’ve been through and to get back in touch with yourself so you can live your life to the fullest. It’s not about doing; it’s about being.
The Benefits of Therapy
You are listened to without judgment.
It may be daunting to talk about yourself and your life to a stranger, but the clean slate offers a relationship you can build with a professional. You are the expert of your feelings, and you have the platform to delve into your life and what work needs to be done. But your therapist or counselor will not make you feel judged, out of the ordinary, or any less of a mother and woman you are.
You learn tools and strategies to withstand the hard times.
With the guidance of trained mental health professionals, mothers can gain valuable insights, develop coping strategies, and enhance their overall well-being. Counseling can help mothers navigate various aspects of their lives, including relationship dynamics, self-care practices, work-life balance, and personal growth. And because maternal mental health is their specialty, these coping mechanisms would all be tailor-made for you.
You build emotional resilience.
Not that you didn't already. But because you would be empowered to face your emotions straight-on and name the feelings and struggles, you also give yourself the freedom to explore your strength. You gear up to set boundaries, practice mindfulness, and cultivate a healthier mindset. And those tools will enable you to navigate through the challenges with more confidence and nurture.
You set an example of self-care for your children.
We often fall into the trap of thinking that doing something for ourselves is selfish. But when we start to invest in ourselves and take the time to love ourselves, we are teaching our children to do the same. Self-care, self-kindness, self-love— these are things we struggle to do and spend our whole lives learning. For our kids to see us make an effort to learn them, will stay with them forever.
Seeking therapy can be a game-changer in your journey as a mother. It's all about taking care of ourselves and finding the strength to navigate life's ups and downs. Therapy gives us a safe space to explore our thoughts and feelings, helping us take better care of ourselves and everyone else. Because well mothers, mother well.
At Beacon, you can find a safe and confidential space where you can connect with our team of experts who specialize in maternal mental health. You are not alone on this journey.